Saturday, December 7, 2013


Duncan Blitz usually didn't feel sorry for himself, but today he did.  Christmas coming, no work.  Alone.
Beverly Barkowitz never felt sorry for herself; it was enough to be alive.
Satellite Sally had the big honkin blue.  She was packing so much weight her pajamas were tight. Her hand was burned (Operator Error: Pressure Cooker) and her kid was in a scary situation that Sally could neither assist nor control.

Sally ate:
coffee and toast
a row of brownies from the pan
another row
Avocado and lettuce salad
Smoked Salmon with cream cheese on toasted something-bread with nuts or dried fruit or something
hard boiled egg
sliced cucumber
Red wine
a chocolate bar  
calories:  3,900

Duncan ate:
a baked potato
2 beers
calories: 610

Beverly ate:
cafe latte and a pastry at Flying Star.  "Are you ready for Christmas?" asked the cashier.  "I'm never ready," said Bev, wondering whether she'd ever had the wherewithal to just say, "I'm Jewish."
calories:  330

Beverly made beef brisket simmered in red wine and invited everyone by.
Sally couldn't get out of the house (everything too tight)
so Bev came to her place, with the brisket and a sixer of Christmas beer and sent a text to Dunc:
noche buena 7p satellite sal's b there

Dinner was good and everyone got safely home

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

my email was hacked (and lose weight)

Dear Friends, my email account was hacked. please do not open a Google document, it was spam or malware.  I apologize,

Dear Friends, my email account was hacked.  I am not stranded in Europe, I am home and fine.  If you received email from me asking for $4,000. it was spam from a hacker.  I apologize.

Dear Friends, please DO NOT CLICK on a link that says, ohmygod this is the funniest video ever.  My email was hacked, and the message is spam. I apologize.

Dear Friends, my email was hacked.  I did not send you a picture, please DO NOT "check this out!" It's spam from a phishing site.  I apologize.

Dear friends, I did not win a free iPad by clicking on this site. my Facebook account was spammed.  I apologize.

Dear Friends,  I have lost 20 lbs in 2 weeks on the Paleo-Blitz "Workout Like A Caveman" plan. Click here for a free membership to the Spa Di Duncannes, with worldwide club privileges and a "Lose While You Sleep" fat burner.  You will automatically receive a GPS Menu Chronograph Rollex watch, and 10 sessions with a massage therapist from Sweden or Thailand or both.

Sunday, September 1, 2013

I Wish I Knew

Duncan Blitz had a small case of Sad.   "I'm forty-fucking eight, and what can I show for it?" He checked the freezer, the fridgie, the kitchen cabinet, for chocolate.  nada.

Duncan opened a Tecate, squeezed a lime, took a tug.  

It was better not to measure, he decided.  Tomorrow could bring dark chocolate. 


Slow-brewed Stormy Tea
Lemon Curd Cake
3 mugs cafe con leche

Chewy Granola Bar
Chinggis Vodka, Gold. 2 shots


Tortilla Soup
Cesar Salad
club soda with lemon

Chocolate Chunk chocolate ice cream
Ultra Dark Chocolate Truffle with caramel and salt.

I feel much better, thought Duncan.  

Monday, February 18, 2013


Satellite Sally woke to a beautiful day, sunny and cold.  She relit the wood stove, sipped a ginger tea and put three scoops of bustelo plus one of pinon roast into her 1-cup espresso maker.

She tapped a peach-colored baby aspirin from the bottle by the sink, and noticed one pill that was tiny and white.  That one was Atavan.  Like the worm in the bottom of the Cusano Rojo bottle, it would be her surprise treat one day.

Sally had several things to do every day, a couple of things to do once in a while and a ton of things to do eventually.  But first the coffee was ready to mix with steaming milk and early sun.

Satellite Sally congratulated herself on taking the buyout from KLUTZ when the station started covering less and less of the state and needing fewer a fewer uplinks.  The anger in her had run out, leaving room for rock & roll, rhythm and blues, sky and stars.

A walk or a run or a ride would make today perfect, she thought, as sipped her 'spresso.

aspirin to atavan, 
dirt to mud,
heaven to the other place, 
there's nothing to say but it's okay..  
good morning good morning good morning good.

cup of espresso with steamed milk       100 calories
another cup                                                  100 calories
second pot                                                    200 calories

small bowl of cole slaw                               275 cal
buttered toast                                                 285 cal

cup of espresso with steamed milk             100 cal

frisee spring salad with citrus and salt         400 calories

bowl of blueberries
(from mexico, not Chile)                             ciento sesenta y cinco calorĂ­as

DINNER:                                                          500 cal
heaps of whole cooked shrimp, tails on
Sauvignon Blanc
romaine lettuce leaves with fresh lime juice
cocktail sauce

cocktail sauce                                                 300 cal

the rest of the cocktail sauce                           100 cal

atavan:                                                         atavan?  are you sure?
Lorazepam appears to have more profound adverse effects on memory than other benzodiazepines; it impairs both explicit and implicit memory.[42][43 (Wikipedia)

Monday, January 28, 2013

""Stop yelling!" said Eric, when Duncan Blitz tapped on the guest room door to see whether his son was awake.  "What time do you want to leave?" Duncan whispered.
"I told you to stop yelling."
"I'm whispering," Duncan whispered.

Duncan knew better than to watch his watch while Eric did not shower, did not appear for coffee, did not load his duffel into the Prius.  "We're leaving in 15 minutes?" he asked.  "20," affirmed the young man.

Duncan zipped the duffel while Eric drank coffee, asked twice whether there was any cereal ("just oatmeal" twice), and grabbed the bag ("is this your mongolia bag?") while resisting the urge to ask whether Eric planned on carrying it on.

"Do you have your glasses, ID and cellphone?"  he asked as he started the car.  "High winds today, you'll bump around on takeoff, would you like a 'mother's little helper?'"  (enthusiasm from the passenger side).

I'm proud of you, said Duncan.  You're paying your rent, you look great and seem very centered.  The best I've seen you in 10 years.  "I'm unhappy," said Eric.  "Do you have goals?" "Yes."
After the Big I, Duncan said,
"A plateau in life can feel boring, but it can be the transition to the next exciting thing."

"I'm glad you're not selling the apartment in NY," said Eric.  and: "I hate the doormen.  They're so slow to open the door and I'm always in a hurry.  But I can't push the door open in their face."
"That's a First World Problem."
"I live in the First World."

Departures, Right Lane; "Which airlines?"
Here.  When you hop out, I'll give you your Record Locator and an Ativan.  "Please give it to me now, it's cold out." (in pajamas, boots, a coat.  hat and glasses.)
Duncan Blitz gave his son a tiny white pill (glug), $50 bucks, and the reservation code that Eric did not need.

"I'm going to check my bag, it's too much trouble."
Duncan hopped out to see that Eric was all set.  His son tipped the Skycap and gave his dad a hug.
"Have a good trip!" said Dunc.
(and turning to the car, murmured, "fly safely."  He had already asked, "text me when you're home.")

Duncan Blitz put away the unused towels in his quiet house.  He touched his worry stone, a gift from his son, and noted how soothing it felt and how nice it looked.  He tried to remember what they had been laughing at in the car,  something funny that brought them together.

Coffee        0 calories
no cereal     0 calories
rolls, coffee, stuff to put on the rolls, stuff to eat with the rolls, other stuff
other stuff to drink

LUNCH: Dallas-Forth Worth Airport
candy bar

DINNER: New York City
is there any cereal?