Monday, September 26, 2011

DUNCAN BLITZ WANTS TO EAT A FAT BABY

"MOM!"
Duncan Blitz woke up calling her.  Not because he needed his mommy, but because he needed to let her know that the loud blast that woke him hadn't harmed him.  He was okay.

I should go somewhere quiet, thought Duncan, with no trash trucks, no night explosions, no death penalty.  Living life in peace.

I found an ayurvedic divorce counsellor, Duncan's ex told him by FB msg, and would like to meet with you...    I should go somewhere quiet with no Facebook, thought Duncan.

Duncan Blitz put on a clean pair of jeans and drove to the new part of town that had Tasting Menus, Small Plates and Artisanal Draft Beers from Local Craft Brewers.

He walked up Central Ave, slowing to notice a guy with a tiny infant in his snuggli.  "A tapas baby," thought Duncan.   He found a place that looked upscale and ordered a Fat Bastard.

I hope someday you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

THE HUNGRY TIGER DIET:

breakfast:
wood oven roasted quail eggs
baby fingerling potatoes
ultra baby bok choy
young's double chocolate stout

lunch:
assortment of pickled young garden vegetables and cider-marinated tiny watermelon sprouts
young riesling

snack:
candied baby figs
young Blancs de Blancs

dinner:
fat baby veal chop (tastes like kitten!)
baby carrots with rosemary cherry pepper sauce
chocolate pudding sprinkled with young thai coconut shavings
beaujolais nouveau.  in a sippy cup

LINK TO THE COWARDLY LION AND THE HUNGRY TIGER (READ IT!):
"I don't believe fat babies taste like gumdrops. I'm quite sure they have the flavor of raspberry tarts. My, how hungry I am for fat babies!"