Thursday, April 30, 2009

beverly barkowitz

duncan's assignment editor, had colon cancer. everything she ate, was digested through her diminished system; a semi-colon.
beverly was most fond of baked potatoes; easy to digest.
beverly was totally terrified of tiny calamari; picture a tentacled obstruction.

Beverly Barkowitz is on the cancer battle diet;
pre-breakfast; toast with butter and marmalade and sliced asiago cheese. coffee with whole milk.
breakfast; lasagna. coffee flavored ensure.
lunch; pretzel sticks, oatmeal cookies, gatorade.
dinner; oysters on the half shell, veal sweetbreads, molten chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream
after dinn; coffee with condensed milk, ginger snaps
midnight snack; cream cheese and jelly on bagel. tea with milk and brown sugar.

Monday, April 13, 2009

duncan does not have cancer,

he never did.
i have cancer. i lost 25 lbs.
when's the last time you weighed 117, asked David. 9th grade?
my tumor, in its mason jar, has its own life now, its cells are examined on slides, by the pathologist.
do you miss me, tumor?

cancer diet:
pre-breakfast: hot tea, country wheat toast with butter, marmalade, brie and emmanthaler

breakfast: cafe au lait
poached egg
chinese barbecue spare ribs with duck sauce and mustard

lunch: lamb couscous,
moroccan chicken-almond pastilla
gingered iced tea

snack: chocolate ensure

dinner: butterfly shrimp sauteed in olive oil, lime dressing
tossed salad with goat cheese vinaigrette
duncan hines double chocolate fudge brownies, no nuts

late snack: french vanilla ice cream float with coffee ensure

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Duncan Blitz stopped at the post office for his mail.  Pee-pee-peee-peep peep peeee, said packages somewhere in back, awaiting pickup.   easter chicks, by mail order!  
There was still time to find riding buddies for Sunday, and invite them back for supper.

duncan's renewal dinner:

shrimp cocktail

steamed artichoke with egg-lemon sauce
white bordeaux

grilled baby lamb chops studded with garlic
baked potato with butter and salt
leafy salad 
red shiraz

tyrannie of cheese platter

mousse au chocolate bunny
marshmallow peeps