CELERY

Duncan Blitz was getting fat. His jeans were tight, his gut was not. He wanted to lose weight. Duncan rinsed a piece of celery and ate it. He rinsed another piece, a baby stalk from the middle of the clump, and ate it. He made an espresso. While it waited in the pot, he ate a piece of celery. Duncan shook the milk carton, poured the frothy milk over a cup of black gold, nuked the espresso-au-lait for 9 seconds, and then another 6 seconds. no! 7 seconds, and took the brew to the porch. Pink porch, the trim painted by the ex-, who was "wiry" and never dieted to stay that way.

The air felt good, the day was nice, snow on the ground, winds aloft.

Duncan went back in the house, his big dog Wylie stayed out.

This diet thing wasn't going to work.

THE TIGHT JEANS DIET:

BREAKFAST:
coffee with hot milk, toast with butter and mesquite honey

SNACK:
celery sticks, all of them
coffee with warm milk

LUNCH:
steamed artichoke with melted butter and lime
angel hair pasta with fresh tomato sauce
string beans sauteed in garlicked olive oil
chess man dark chocolate cookies. 3, then another 3, till box is empty

SNACK:
tecate with lime

DINNER:
green chile cheeseburger with fries
garden salad
pickles
mug root beer

SNACK:
cheesecake

O'BRIEN

It streaked silent across the sky and disappeared. "Three," thought Duncan Blitz. Shooting stars. You're supposed to wish on them, but Duncan liked to take his time, and assign a wish later. "You too, Wylie?" he asked. The big dog leaned closer.
Duncan looked for the Big Dipper. Found it, and Orion, the hunter. When they first moved to New Mexico, he had pointed out the constellation with its sword and belt to Eric, who as a toddler remembered it as "O'Brien's Pants."


O'Brien was supposed to stand with his dogs Canis Major and Canis Minor, but neither Duncan nor his canine knew really where.


Duncan Blitz went inside and wished to celebrate Eric's 50th birthday together.


COSMIC FOOD: ANY FOOD OTHER THAN BROCCOLI (urban dictionary)

DUNCAN'S THREE-STAR DIET:

BREAKFAST:

FRESH SQUEEZED ORANGE JUICE
CAFE AU LAIT
FLAKY CROISSANT WITH SWEET CREAM BUTTER AND BLACKBERRY JAM

LUNCH:
SALAD NICOISE

SNACK:
BELGIAN DARK CHOCOLATE WITH CRYSTALLIZED GINGER
SPRING WATER

DINNER:
STEAMED ARTICHOKE WITH LEMONE BUTTER MAYONNAISE
WILD GAME FOIE GRAS TERRINE
ROASTED RACK OF PORK, SOUPY BLACK BEANS, HERBED WILD RICE
CARMELIZED CAULIFLOWER
BEAUJOLAIS

DESSERT:
DOUBLE DARK CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM
MOET ET CHANDON